Chatting with a Confucian mate via msn messenger

The following is an excerpt from an msn chat I had with a chinese mate - whose name has been replaced with ‘mate’ to ‘save his face’ - of mine from singapore this morning. It has been unedited, hence the abbreviations, bad grammar/spelling, and, vulgarities, taught to myself by my many chinese friends in the past - all in good humor of course. That which is ‘parenthesised’ are translations for the benefit of the reader. Vulgarities, however, will be left without explanation - so that I can use it in the UK without raising any brows.

(half way through the ‘conversation’, ed finally gets pissed off.....)

ed: u ah. chat with me and nothing to chat about.  brain off right?

mate: heheheh

ed: ‘hehehe’? respond like filipina when kenna pluck(get scolded) some more

mate: too much bad influence

ed: i attend demos here n u don't ask.  u only interested in sg lifestyle i see.

mate: oops

mate: its been quite boring since u left

ed: thats just one example...chia lat (terrible). as usual ah u.

ed: singaporeans only talk about what sg train them to appreciate.  any new experience n they get nothing from it.

mate: i keep trying to find some inspiration

ed: nothing to do with that. What u want? Viagra for the brain or what? if u have no interest in people, n only interested in yourself u will never have inspiration, or wil have inspiration for the same thing.  if u came to UK i would ask u all about yor experiences there to learn and grow.

mate: i know what i have to do

ed: u know.  but u don't do whats the most obvious.

ed: i’ve tried for years, but can't stimulate curiosity in the chinese mind dei. u read my stuff, and kno me long time. u should kno by now.  I put video of demo and you people think nothing of it. If i put chicks and food and shopping, then u ppl say something. same thing wen talking to others also.

mate: yes, do agree there is still huge degree of chineseness in me....

mate: i got to kick myself to do something about it

mate: tel u million times also no use.  u r really suited to sg ha

ed: if u went overseas and wrote about it and put up video i wl ask becos i want to learn and grow from yor experience n becos i'm interested in u as a friend

mate: to be honest, there are many situations i've remembered and applied alot of principles that i've learnt from u

mate: i've not make full use of what u've taught me...

ed: u only make use of what u can use n not what can make u grow. u r like all of them dei. u won't change for anyone. u expect everyone to conform. how to associate with exceptional ppl like that.

ed: chee bye. scold u there, come here n scold u thru msn about same thing for 10 years.  haha

mate: thanks for the reminder yet again. i'm glad we chat.

ed: dont kk (pretend, be insincere). u thank me as if it worked. lan chiao ok. 

mate: because none here can offer any sincere and indept discussions

ed: giving me the same shit excuse.  How come i never give that excuse. I also mix with ppl there n u right? I already said that before n u stil dare say the same shit.

ed: i learn from the best amongst everyone i meet, while u prefer to learn from the worst or do what everyone do becos it takes little or no effort n ignoring all that different.  doesn’t that attitude sound familiar?

mate: hmm.. that's true..usually easier that way. yah, like all the people here. I kno.

mate: can u offer some suggestion on some blog design pls?

ed: give me blow first

mate: ni na bei

ed: New feature. Any idiot also can do. So no problem for you. haha.

mate: terimakaseh ('thank you' in the Malay language)

ed: read carefully. don’t look at the obvious in the instructions so that you can action immediately. Don’t discount info n u can do it

mate: how's your involvment in the trade union and socialist party there?

ed: dont kk (pretend, be insincere) now

mate: wanted to ask already lah, b4 kena fuck

ed: then no point. no real interest. cannot learn anything dah kotei.

mate: we talk abt other things first mah...

mate: dei, sorry, got to ahmad for dinner

ed: Anyway, send him my regards. he’s a good guy.

mate: what's your tel no there? i'll text u

ed: no need my number dei. Can skype what. Free mah.

mate: yeah, need to download the prog. in mac

ed: until now stil don’t have? don't wait for Year of the Cockroach to do that. It wil never come.

ed: nex time can lim kopi and cakap. maybe play chinese chess ha?

mate: haha... u cant use the same strategy

ed: yah i know. u already know how to defend against it.

ok, man...take care..send my regards to v.. mail me if u need anything

ed: alright dei. take care kuya


  1. Interesting exchanges you have with your 'mate', Ed :)

    That reminded me of the chinese traits i observed from the chinese people from China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand and Taiwan. They are generally nice people when they don't need to make much efforts, that includes myself. Very few are genuinely interested in your life. Conversations are mostly conducted at a very superficial level and centered around food, work, money, new handphones.

    Thank you for the template suggestion. i have just started a site using a Blogger in Draft template. It's brilliant! Not just the template designs but all the ways that you can customise the look and layout of your blog.

    Take care too, Kuya :)


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